That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
