Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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