Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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