thus making me awesome and them whores
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize