Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
