dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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