Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
