Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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