somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
