Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize