I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
