Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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