Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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