so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this beer tastes like vomit already
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
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