he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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