I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
