you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
