I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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