Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
