It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
