How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
