After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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