Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
