I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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