i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
