I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize