You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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