The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
