i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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