she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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