Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm way too hungover for life right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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