you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
