I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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