I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
