just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
