I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dear god my vagina.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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