I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
