I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
