He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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