i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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