We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Let's paint friendship bongs
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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