i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How does one acquire holy water?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
