I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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