He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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