we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
