I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize