Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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