I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
