you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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