Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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