Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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