The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
