shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just found puke in my bra..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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