so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
