No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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