could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
