Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
