you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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