i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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