he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize