Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
