ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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