no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Screwed.edu
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
