I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
vagina is talking i cant
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
