it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
