Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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