Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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